How to Prepare for a Divorce Consultation: Questions to Ask & What to Bring

Your initial consultation with a divorce lawyer or counsel isn’t just about reviewing your case—it’s your opportunity to get answers, evaluate your options, and find the right professional to support you through one of the most important transitions of your life.

We recently sat down with Susan Harris, LLP at Aquarian Legal: Licensed Legal Paraprofessional Services(aquarianlegal.com) to talk about what clients should ask and bring to their first consultation when meeting with a family law attorney or LLP. Susan emphasized the power of preparation and how it helps both clients and attorneys move more confidently and efficiently through the process. Quick note on LLPs- if you are in a state (like Colorado) that has this resource: Congratulations! LLPs are Licensed Legal Paraprofessionals who have a limited license to practice law and can be a cost accessible way to navigate the legal process in family law.

Here’s what we learned:

What Questions Should I Ask at My Divorce Consultation?

1. How does the divorce process work, and what should I expect at each stage?

A key part of any family lawyer or legal professional’s role is to guide you through the divorce process. Understanding the timeline and what to expect can not only make things more efficient for you and your legal team, but also give you some comfort and a sense of control during a stressful time.

2. Can you explain that a bit more?

You’re there to learn and build a relationship with someone you trust. If something isn’t clear, speak up. Attorneys and Licensed Legal Paraprofessionals are required by their ethics rules to make sure you’re reasonably informed about your case and to respond to your questions.

3. What is your style, and how do you approach divorce cases?

If you’re hoping for an amicable divorce, but hire a highly aggressive litigator, your goals and their methods may not align. Conversely, if your spouse (or their attorney) tends to be a bully or have controlling or combative behavior, you’ll want someone ready to stand firm. Most family law professionals know their style and strengths—the honest ones will tell you what those are.

4. What are some ways I can save on legal fees during my divorce?

Each law office may have unique tips, but in general:

• Respond promptly to emails and requests.

• Answer all questions thoroughly in one go if possible.

• Provide requested documents in an organized way. If you have concerns about disclosing something, let them know – communication is key. But give them the information and documents that they ask for from you.

• Take notes—this reduces the need to repeat conversations.

• Batch your questions in one message instead of sending multiple emails.

• Redact account numbers in financial statements. I know – it’s an agonizing task – but it’s a necessity and often is time intensive. Ask your legal team how they prefer the numbers be redacted – i.e. do they want the last four digits to remain legible? – and still provide them with the entire account number separately.

• Stay as organized as possible—it saves time, which saves money.

5. What are your fees, and how do billing and payments work?

Ask about hourly rates, flat fees, retainers, and payment schedules. They should be up front about what their billing process is, what their hourly or flat rates are, and what their billing and payment expectations for you are. This information helps you plan for the costs of divorce and avoid surprises down the road.

6. What steps do you need from me next? Confirm the action plan.

Ask this at the end of the consultation. After receiving so much information, getting a clear recap of next steps will help you stay focused and keep the process moving forward efficiently, which helps you save on legal fees.

What Should I Bring (or Be Ready to Talk About) at My Divorce Consultation?

Your first consultation is a chance to get expert guidance, so come prepared! Here’s what to bring and what to expect to discuss:

1. An open mind and your listening ears.

You’re not there to “win” your case—you’re there to learn. Be ready to receive information, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Your legal professional’s job is to explain how the family court system works, not just to tell you what you want to hear.

2. Something to take notes with.

Even if you have a great memory, divorce is overwhelming. Take notes so you can revisit the conversation later—and avoid needing to re-ask the same questions. Revisiting your notes can also be reassuring during those stressful moments of doubt or overwhelm. 

3. Any court documents or correspondence.

If your divorce case is already filed, bring any court orders, expert reports, or important emails or texts from your spouse or their lawyer. Let your legal team know you have them, butunderstand they might not review everything during the initial meeting.

4. Family details.

Come with the basics: date of marriage, your children’s ages, special needs (if any), both parties’ occupations, and estimated incomes. These help your legal counsel quickly identify the main issues.

5. A general financial snapshot.

Even if you don’t know every number yet, sharing what you doknow—and being honest about what you don’t—can help your legal team plan for gathering more info later.

6. Your goals and concerns.

Be upfront about what matters most to you—whether that’s parenting time, keeping the house, financial stability, or something else. Knowing your top priorities helps your team focus their energy, and your money, where it matters most.

7. Any disputes or agreements in progress.

As legal counsel, we often hear that the parties believe that they agree on everything, though many couples haven’t actually hadthose detailed conversations. Be realistic about where there might be tension or disagreement—it helps your legal team plan accordingly.

8. Your budget and available resources.

Saying “I’ll pay whatever it takes” often isn’t realistic—or necessary. Knowing your budget helps your legal professional guide you toward the most cost-effective options, like unbundled legal services or limited-scope representation (what I like to call “a la carte” legal help).

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re in the early stages of filing or you’re deep in the process, your divorce consultation is a critical opportunity to get clarity and chart your path forward. Preparing thoughtfully will help you feel more confident and make the most of your time with your legal team.